We're going to trial

I have known my abuser for around ten years now. He's always been physically violent, starting three months into the relationship. I was 17 and he was 21.
I left multiple times and always ended up coming back. When our first daughter was nine months old I left him for what I thought was the final time. He ended up in jail for aggravated kidnapping or the girl he'd been cheating on me with. He was sentenced to five years and served four. 

When he got out on parole, I gave him another chance. We ended up pregnant with our second daughter and that's when he began to exhibit his abusive behaviors again.

He refused to get a job, not wanting to pay child support for our daughters. He started living off of his mother and new girlfriend.

That's when things got weird. He began to stalk and threaten me. He had gotten a job and they were taking the payment out of his check. He had decided that I was either to marry him or take him off child support. I refused to marry him, and told him it was impossible to take him off of child support and get health care and food benefits the girls needed. He called me a liar. And the threatening behavior led to a three day nightmare of abuse. He bit me, punched me, kicked me, threw a glass ashtray at my head (I lost consciousness)---for three days. I didn't report it to the police, I just ran back to my family. They took pictures.

Fast forward and we're back in court for child support. To add our youngest daughter to the order. He corners me and asks for reconciliation. I consider, and a month later I find myself leaving the kids with my mom to stay with him.

It lasted a week. And at the end of that week, I spent twenty four terrifying hours getting beaten and strangled. I didn't think I would live. I lost consciousness several times. A neighbor who heard my screams for help called the cops. They knocked on the door as his hands were around my neck again. He immediately let go and begged me not to put him in jail. I ran for the door. Told the cops I wanted to go home and refused to tell them what happened.

It was the next morning when I woke up covered in bruises with hand prints around my neck and chunks of hair missing from my head that I decided to make a police report and applied for a protective order.

He's in jail now, for impeding breathing with a previous conviction. He was offered 25 years which they dropped to 15 years and then to 12. He refused the plea deals and wants to take it to trial.
I'm scared. I just wish he'd taken the plea deal. :'(

Original Post

Hello SammiJ,

Thank you for sharing your experience here. It is okay for you to feel scared. Your experience must have been difficult. However, you are very brave for making the report. A very important thing to remember is that you and your children are safe. Here at YesIcan, there are chat groups if you would like to join to discuss more about your experience.

Hi SAMMIJ,
 
Thank you for joining our website and for sharing your story. I know that it wasn't easy to open up to us and that it took a lot of courage. I apologize for what you have gone and are going through. No one should go through that in any situation. I would recommend you to join our chatroom to talk with others that are going through or have gone through what you are going through. Here is the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline http://www.thehotline.org/ and the number is 1-800-799-SAFE(7233).

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