I feel that my entire relationship existed on gaslighting. I think the big questions I have are why did I not know I was being gaslighted. Why did I not consider what others saw as abuse, abuse?
It was insidious; mostly emotional and verbal, but it did get physical on a couple occasions. Someone told me the boiling frog parable to explain it.
The Parable of the Boiled Frog
The boiling frog is a fable describing a frog being slowly boiled alive. The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.
I am getting ready for my divorce trial, and I have to defend myself because I shared stories with people. Now I am being painted as a liar, a hostile wife out to destroy his reputation.
This is one of the reasons why people stay silent.